Women reveal why they chose financial security over love

security over love.

Someone asked women who chose financial security over love how their personal lives have worked out and received a variety of responses. Many women, mainly those with heterosexual partners, pointed out that their decisions were driven by valuing their desires and requirements. This allowed them to focus on building the life they wanted, rather than being controlled by the choices made by whoever they were dating.

After leaving an unhappy relationship with an abusive partner, I directed my attention towards my professional development," one woman noted. "Following a series of career moves, I eventually secured a well-paying job, which enabled me to seek help through therapy and explore my interests. I became interested in the FIRE movement (financial freedom/early retirement) and finally felt secure about my financial situation, allowing me to live a normal life and cultivate self-love. It was during this time that I met and fell in love with a kind and stable partner, eventually deciding to get married.

She stated that it gave her the independence to live her life as she wanted to, rather than being dictated to by others.

“Without a clear plan, you’re vulnerable to manipulation,” she went on. “Generally, financial abuse is a worry, but there are many other forms of abusive relationships too - not just limited to financial, sexual, physical, emotional, spiritual, and so on. Never let anyone restrict your independence and freedom. Always have a contingency plan and some money set aside for emergencies.”

Some people claimed that leaving was ultimately the right decision for them, despite the emotional pain it caused at the time. By developing the skills to look after themselves, they discovered they were more likely to connect with someone who shared their true values.

She'd spent the last of her £15 and change on moving costs, rent and a deposit on a new place," the comment read. "Months later, she was a few years debt-free, having cleared all her student loans.

She went on to say: “I managed to put some money aside. I was able to indulge in some treats and purchase entirely new outfits, including shoes, over time. I had the means to take up new interests. I learned to be content with being single. It ended up helping me become a complete and happy person in my own right. I went on to meet my current partner, and that did bring even more happiness into my life. However, I'm confident that if things were to take a turn for the worse, I would not only cope but positively flourish. I've already gone through that experience once, after all.”

As some say, "Choose yourself, and the rest will follow," women told their younger friends that becoming the best version of oneself is the route to achieving financial freedom and emotional empowerment from others. Freeing oneself from patriarchal shackles.

I found myself in a situation last year where the only way to keep the relationship going was to end our long distance arrangement and move to a quiet rural area with my boyfriend, who was struggling financially at the time," one person admitted. "He had problems with debts to pay off, rent to cover, and a new business venture which unfortunately wasn't turning out as planned.

She went on to say: “I was earning a respectable income, had a promising career and was financially secure. However, I eventually decided not to make the move and end the relationship. I didn't see myself living there, and with it being a serious relationship, it would've meant taking on a lot of financial responsibilities, which can be particularly challenging when it comes to bringing up a family.”

As one of the biggest issues in their relationship, many individuals often mention it during heated discussions.

Those who want to keep their relationships in good order despite arguments over finances might find it helpful to take a step back and find common ground. By working together as an equal team, disputes over money can be sorted out more easily and effectively.

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