66 days to learn to love reading again: ‘Ten pages in and my brain is twitching with fatigue’
There was a period in my life when devouring books felt as natural and inevitable as a steaming mug of coffee in the morning. I toted heavy bags full of tomes across continents, devoured them on friends' sofas, in bed, in cafes, in public parks and on all sorts of public transport you could imagine.
The next casualty occurred with the arrival of children, social media, the smartphone - and the knockout blow that finished off my once enthusiastic love of reading came from the pandemic. I barely noticed it unfolding, but before I knew it, my dominant focus had been fragmented, making it impossible for me to cope even with straightforward texts.
I was considerably troubled by this. I consulted Dr Susan McLaine, creative director of Bibliotherapy Australia, seeking her advice on how to rekindle my enthusiasm for reading.
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According to McLaine, the key to increasing one's reading is to adopt a more relaxed attitude and prioritize the benefits of reading. By doing so, the best results can be achieved. McLaine suggests that reading should be viewed as a source of nourishment for the mind and spirit, rather than a tedious task that we have to force ourselves to do.
“Don’t feel guilty about your reading habits. Take a moment to appreciate the benefits of reading and see the time you spend reading as a way of treating yourself.”
Week one
I'm starting this week's endeavour with the same wide-eyed excitement you might expect of a former school football star recklessly throwing themselves into an impromptu charity kickabout. This is going to be a straightforward exercise! A triumphant comeback to full form! Overconfident and feeling pretty optimistic, I pull out a large book from the shelf and climb into bed at an early hour. Ten pages in and my brain feels frazzled, my focus wavering, and I'm starting to suspect that years of compulsive scrolling and endless channel-hopping have permanently impaired my mental powers.
I'll carry on pretending I'm in good form for the remainder of the week before finally admitting to myself that I need to get back into training.
Week two
What's more effective than a podcast at blocking out unwanted thoughts while giving the impression we're actively thinking, you might ask? Listening to audiobooks, perhaps. I swap the tedious nonfiction podcasts for an audio version of a highly anticipated book. I'm thoroughly engaged and progress through it at a steady pace over the course of a week. I see it through from start to finish, a long-form fictional story. I'm declaring that a success.
Week three
I stick to what's working. McLaine tells me that listening to audiobooks counts as reading, so I've picked out a new title in a similar style. My hunger for following a story over an extended period of time is growing. I find myself listening compulsively wherever I go – on trams, while I'm shopping, and before I go to bed. It's a pleasant change to be transported to a different world without the unpleasant aftertaste of spending too much time in front of screens, and I surprisingly find it comforting to be read to in the same way I was as a child.
Week four
Four years ago, my neighbour lent me a trilogy, and this week I've decided to make a point of finally starting the first book because it will give me a clear path to the next two. These books are easy to read, both in terms of weight and reading material. I make a habit of taking the first book with me and pulling it out during any spare moments rather than my phone. Although I still can't manage to read before getting ready for bed, I find I'm putting off tasks and meeting deadlines to make time to read, reasoning that it's a form of work.
I'm reading more, but I've noticed I'm getting caught up in distraction, which is rather contradicting the purpose of this exercise: to focus on enjoyment rather than efficiency or avoiding chores.
Week five
I've started to crave the peacefulness of reading a traditional book.
I'm determined to go back to a state of being where I'm fully present in my activities, like having the pure joy of reading a book, without any distractions or stress weighing me down.
Week six
My dear grandfather passed away this week. It's not unexpected, but it's brought a mix of emotions and distractions as you'd imagine. With my mind feeling a bit overwhelmed and I've got out-of-town funerals to attend, I've been carrying my book with me constantly. Truth be told, I won't be getting much done this week, and I'm surprised to find myself occasionally reading a page or two, as a change from my phone's constant chaos, the peace and quiet of the book is a comforting calm.
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Week seven
I'm feeling a bit all over the place and I've got a lot of work to get through. The thought of reading or not reading is getting to me - it's a completely silly situation. McLaine stresses the connection between reading and how it can affect your mood and energy levels. I've made a decision to drop my need to be productive and start viewing reading as a way to indulge in a little pleasure. I've gathered a selection of random books from my bookshelf and left them by the front door. "Any reading is good reading," McLaine says, so I've spent the week flicking between titles depending on my mood. I have no idea how much I've read, but I have managed to pick up a different book every day and I've actually reduced my screen time.
Week eight
After a week of not doing much else, I've become quite taken with one specific book. I'm being careful to keep it with me everywhere I go and read a bit whenever I've got some free time, like while waiting or travelling on public transport. My usual mindset of ignoring the numerous things that can take me away from my phone has become boring and unfulfilling. I keep looking for any chance to indulge in something that's been missing from my life and helps me resist my phone's tendency to be a distraction. Every time I turn the page of this book, it feels like a little treat, even though I'm not entirely sure why I find it so enjoyable.
Week nine
Making a selection from my collection of titles to take on the go has transformed into a daily ritual, much like deciding what to wear. Considering both how I'm feeling and what I hope to achieve, I've come to associate picking a book as much with a lot of thought into finding the perfect match, just like selecting an outfit, to add to my day.
The end
It's now been close to ten weeks since I last lost the desire to read, but I've since managed to get through several books. Honestly, my attitude towards reading has undergone a significant change and I'm once again in the position where reading feels like a genuine choice, rather than something I'm obligated to do.
I would give it a perfect score, and I would definitely advise others to do the same.
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